starting is the most difficult
I usually do not find it hard to start a project. I just get an idea in my head and I get to it. In this case starting this blog has been so difficult. For the past months I have thought about starting a blog but every time I said to myself "okay I am going to do it", I either talked myself out of it, forgot, or just got too darn busy. Now in these 10 minutes I have before baby R wakes up, I am putting this first intro together. It may not be the most thought-out, but it's a start. I'm not 100% sure how I want this blog to go but in the meantime while I overthink this some more, I will leave you with my reason why I want to do this.
All of what I write in this blog is my personal thoughts, not advice. I just want a place I can express all that I am feeling and doing it in a way that may help others not feel alone or just some good reading material (even with my grammar errors).
It will be a reflection of all the changes I have gone through and going through. It's a never ending spiral really- change after change after change... Some times posts will be short, other times long, sometimes poem-like, other times just words spaced out that hopefully will somehow convey what I am feeling. I want to say some of this will be in Spanish but who knows.
Back what I said earlier about not finding it hard to start projects, I don't find it difficult because I don't tell anyone. There are about 5+ project in my closet I have not shared with anyone. I thrive on lack of accountability on my projects. With this though, I don't even know how it will end nor how it will be received. A lot of it is just being scared of being judged. Now if I am so scared why don't I just write in a journal and tuck it away somewhere? Well in motherhood I have felt pretty lonely at times and I guess this is a way of helping create a sense of community. Not sure how many people will read this or how many more posts I will make, but it's a start and hopefully a commitment for sometime.
Hope you stick around for some more.
Fatima